I am finally chipping away at that last 10 pounds thanks to the Whole Foods (I hope to add a link soon) diet.  It works wonders for me because I basically know what my dinner is going to be before I get home from work.  No more clawing through the cabinets, weak in the knees, sagging from low blood sugar.  So each Sunday I buy a week’s worth of lean healthy meat for the two of us.  Enough for each weeknight, like a 10 pack of chicken breasts or two packages of frozen fish filets.  I also buy an accompanying vegetable.  I make a large pot of brown rice, and put it in the fridge for the week (and at the same time a large pot of steel cut oatmeal, which I reheat in batches each morning to save time, but that’s in another post.)

This week I bought some lean pork chops (ok pork is probably not a favorite of the person who designed WFD, but I needed a break from yard bird, and hey, at least I trimmed the fat.)  Then I bought a whole fresh pineapple, and some kale.  We had the kale last night, sauteed with balsamic and garlic.  Tonight I wanted to do something with pork and pineapple and brown rice.  Here is an old favorite, repurposed for fighting that muffin top!

Healthy Sweet & Sour Pork on the Grill

You will need…

2 slices pineapple, preferably fresh

2 carrots

1 bell pepper, any color, chopped (can substitute 2/3 C frozen sweet peas, or 1 extra carrot)

3 green onions, green and white parts, chopped

2 lean loin chops (can subsitute 2 boneless skinless chicken breasts)

1 cup already cooked brown rice

soy sauce

salt and pepper to taste (as always!)

few teaspoons EVOO,

0ne dash sesame oil for taste, optional

Siriracha hot sauce for garnish

Phase one:  Put your lean pork chops in a shallow bowl or zip bag with about 1/3 C soy sauce.  Set aside, but turn to coat at least once before cooking.  Peel and slice your carrots into bite size pieces.  If using fresh pineapple, run a sharp knife along the edges until peel is removed.  Slice off two slices (or, if you are cooking for more than two, use one slice pineapple per pork chop or chicken breast you are making.)

Then:  Drizzle EVOO and sesame oil, if using, in skillet on stove.  When oil is very warm, add carrots.  Stir over medium heat until carrots begin to soften, then add peppers (or peas)  Cook until both veggies are crisp tender.  Add cooked rice, chopped onions, and about 3 TBS soy sauce, or to taste, and turn off heat.

Third:  Preheat grill or grill pan on high heat in order to sear chops.  Divide cooking time into fourths– total time will depend on thickness of chops– giving the chops one quarter turn on each side to create classic grill marks.  Do the same with the pineapple.

Finally:  When pork chops and pineapple are off the grill and resting, turn the heat on under your rice skillet.  Heath through, stirring in additional salt, pepper, and soy sauce as desired.  If you like, chop your grilled pineapple and add it here.  One pork chop per plate, then scoop on rice.  I like my pineapple pancaked on top of the chop for the ultimate sweet and sour layering in bites!

Do you have a favorite Whole Foods Recipe to share?

First, An exert From Diana Abu-Jaber’s The Language of Baklava

“Marry, don’t marry,” Auntie Aya says as we unfold
layers of dough to make an apple strudel. “Just don’t
have your babies unless it’s …absolutely necessary.”

“How do I know if it’s necessary?”

She stops and stares ahead, her hands gloved in flour.
“Ask yourself, Do I want a baby or do I want to make a
cake? The answer will come to you like bells ringing.”
She flickers her fingers in the air by her ear. “For
me, almost always, the answer was ‘cake.’”

I am silent as I stare hard at the cup glittering with
sugar. This is advice, but it feels more like pressing
my ear to the wall. I don’t want her to notice how
closely I listen, or she might stop talking. What she
says rings inside me like a spoon in a crystal glass.
After years of assuming that the purpose of all this
cooking and working–the purpose of everything,
really–was to produce and grow babies, this is the
first intimation I have heard of another way through
life. It is the first time I’ve really understood that
my aunt, with her houses filled with friends and
siblings and servants and lovers, does not have
children of her own.

***

Obligation “Down There” by Julia Scott Tew

Forward:

I’m so proud of the magnificent mothers I know.  I appreciate your hard work and I share your mothering triumphs with you, with a happy heart.  I’m also proud of my friends who don’t have children-I know first hand it has it’s own pitfalls and challenges, and that’s what I am writing about today.  This is not just based on my own experiences, though I have not taken a poll.  I have read blogs, forums, and newspaper articles online for years, reading hundreds of different voices of women who feel unfairly judged because they haven’t used their vaginas for baby-making.  Some voices were negative, very us versus them, some were desperate to be understood, some were, as I have tried to approach the matter, very fair and balanced, with a great happy vagina.   What I’ve written is a cumulative opinion based on experiences I’ve read, with a couple of my own thrown in.  Broad sweeping generalizations are the way I roll.  Don’t bother pointing out exceptions.

I’ve been researching online for years other women who have struggled with the choice to have, or not to have, children.  I always saw it as a choice, which, since the mainstreaming of birth control in the late 20th Century, it usually is.  We were told we can be anything we want, right?  Well I don’t want to be a CPA, so I’m not.  I don’t want to be a nurse, so I’m not. Those decisions were easy for me.  No one else ever tells me I’m going to regret a life without scrubs or number crunching.  I’m not a CPA or a Nurse because that’s not who I am.  I can feel good about that because at least I didn’t do something I didn’t want to do anyway.  To parent, or not to parent, however, hasn’t been so cut and dried.

I thought I knew the answer when I moved off to college:  In my hopeful youth, the daydreams I had for my future did not include children.  After 10 years with my husband, our fantasies for the future still do not include children of our own.   Yet, society, and admittedly, my own crazy ass feelings of people pleasing, as well as the occasional comment from a stranger or a mother in law or even a close friend, continues to pick off the scab before it can heal over and take.  Or maybe it’s the taboo nature of this discussion that keeps it bottled in and unaddressed, unresolved.  It is rare to find a woman who will even admit to not wanting children.  My sister Honey gets lots of parenting advice through her Parents Magazine.  I can only imagine how pissed some parents I know would be to see a magazine called “The Childfree Lifestyle” at the doctor’s office.   One woman’s choice is talked about, celebrated even.  But the other conversation makes people squirm.  If it weren’t for non-parents, most mothers wouldn’t be able to take maternity leave, yet the subliminal message remains:  Be anything you want, but it’s meaningless unless you are a mommy first.

***

One woman announced at a party the other night that she had decided to try to get pregnant:  Her words were instantly met with congratulations, and questions about future plans, schools etc.  The mothers present began comparing notes about their own pregnancies.  There was an almost palpable relief through the room, and I wondered if these parents felt somehow bolstered by this other person’s decision to take the road they had.  Then that made me imagine how shocked the room would be if I dared to ask, “Why, why do you want kids?  Do you just love kids or something??  What if you change your mind?  Why don’t you adopt?   However, these are the most common responses women get when they announce they’ve decided not to have children.

“Why?”

“You must hate kids.”

“You’re so selfish. It’s probably a good thing you’re not having any.”

“But you will never know great love.”

Matter of factly, “You’re going to change your mind.”

“Who’s going to take care of you when you’re old?”  Probably the same nurses who take care of all the parents in nursing homes now, I think.

And once-this is my favorite- “I guess you can always do more volunteer work so you’re giving back too.”

Sadly, no one is comfortable admitting that, no, babies are not always a good thing.  Or the right thing for certain lives.  My teacher friends can attest to the fact there are a lot of bad parents out there who did not think through the permanent decision to be parents.  I have found most childless-by-choice women have put a LOT more thought into if they want to conceive than someone who does it because, “that’s what people do.”   The thought reminds me of Meryl Streep’s line in The Bridges of Madison County where she tells Clint Eastwood, “This is a great place to raise kids.  It’s just a bad place to raise adults.”

***

We were not all meant to have babies. We were not all built to have babies.  I know this for a fact, because the single most amazing woman I know-Honey- couldn’t get pregnant for 5 years.  What if she never could?  I know for a fact she would not be any less wonderful or amazing.  I know other women who are involuntarily childless-They wanted to have babies, but couldn’t.  Some put their vaginas through untold horrors trying to force conception.  Some accepted it and moved on to find “pride and joy” in other ways.  Those who don’t want kids, or can’t, are no less because of it.  We all have vaginas.  That’s what makes us Chicks, that’s what makes us equal.  Why let tradition have more say-so on our vaginas than we do?

I know I know-The window is starting to close.  I’m 35.  One year younger than my mother was when she had me, her “caboose” baby that ended a train of 7 children.  Speaking of my 6 siblings, did I mention I have something like 18 nieces and nephews, some of whom I nannied through diapers?  Did I mention my best friend got pregnant at 15 and I cooked for her every day of her third trimester, was right outside the door and the first person to hold her daughter when she was born?  Did I mention my first paying job was as a day-care worker?  Did I mention the volunteer work I did in college as a violence counselor to high risk families in Northwest Arkansas?

Hopefully society, and myself, will see those experiences make me qualified to decide if parenting is right for me.

***

I chose this as my Vagina Monologue topic because 40% of American women do not have kids, either by choice or circumstance.  I hope you have enjoyed these views from the “pro choice” side of the aisle.   You can contact me to request further reading suggestions, and I encourage you to share your own thoughts or experiences on this topic.  I’d like to leave you with a short, very partial, list of famous women in history who were not mothers.

Oprah

Beatrix Potter

Louisa Mae Alcott

Janet Reno

Rosa Parks

Joan of Arc

Edith Wharton

Stevie Nicks

Greta Garbo

Katharine Hepburn

Julia Child

Evita

Mother Theresa

The End

On a recent trip to Kansas City, we stopped, as usual, at Osceola Cheese Factory.  This little gem is at a rural crossroads in the middle of Missouri.  Ten billboards at strategic mile markers tell you it’s coming up, or you’d probably drive right past it, never knowing the marketing gold minds within.  Unless, of course, you thought to wonder why their parking lot was always packed.

1.  Meaningful marketing doesn’t interrupt what consumers are doing, it enhances it.

Osceola has never been a destination spot.  People who pass through are usually coming or going from Kansas City or Branson, MO.  These genius cheese peddlers have found their niche in the Missouri tourism industry.  They do not interrupt or inconvenience these drivers while pursuing their task of traveling, they enhance their traveling experience.  The cheese itself hasn’t been made locally in years, outsourcing to Wisconsin cheese.  They do sell some items made nearby, but technically fail to meet the definition of “locally grown” which is the appeal of most roadside markets.  So, what is the big thing they offer?  Clean restrooms. How does that increase sales?  When travelers stop for the facilities they are offered literally hundreds of free cheese samples.  Then there are the salty snacks, with bowls of the stuff on the shelves right next to the packaged product.  Who in this world has ever turned down free cheese?  No one I saw.  By my observation, most stoppers were converted to shoppers in 3 bites.  About the same amount of time as a 30 second TV commercial.  It is low pressure sales.  There is no disapproving glare from a stern sample supervisor, allotting one per customer, like someone else’s stingy grandmother.  I helped myself to 10 cubes of my favorite cheese and all anyone did was offer me a cracker to go with it.

2. In our value seeking economy, sellers who maximize value to the user, will maximize profits

Customer service didn’t stop at the clean restrooms and generous free samples.  I bought a large hunk of white cheddar garden cheese, two packages of crackers and for some reason….a huge bag of pork rinds.  Now I have seen pork rinds sold a million times and have never been tempted to purchase.  What made the difference?  Probably two free handfuls of the product that left me wanting a lot more.  Anyway, they sealed the deal at the checkout when the genuinely friendly casher asked me if I wanted them to slice the cheese so I could snack on it in the car.  I was shocked.  I almost said, Haven’t I taken enough advantage of you people?  Instead of booting me out the door, you’re offering more??  But mama taught me not to talk with food in my mouth, so I shook my head instead.  I thanked her in sign language, and skipped back to the car feeling like I’d won a prize.  What luxury at a tiny crossroads in middle America!  And what a lesson other retailers can learn from them.

3. Opt-in Marketing is Sustainable IF Users Can incorporate it into Their Lives.

I wasn’t the only one who loved their cheese selling experience.  There was almost a festive air down the aisles.  Every bored road tripper-turned-shopper in the store was having a ball.  Happily engaged customers compared notes with other shoppers.  Folks from a tour bus shopped for last minute gifts.  Stretching their legs has never been more fun…or tasty!  Or meaningful. For those who make the trip again, this will become part of the experience.  Like my family, the children who stop with their parents will bring their own children one day.  They incorporate Osceola Cheese’s marketing into their lives.  For Generations. How huge is that??  By the time we reached Kansas City I was singing, “OOO-sce-OLA!  Where the sales come driving down the plains!”

4. Evolve with the market, and recession proof your business

What makes this little cheese business that’s been around forever such a great model in today’s tumultuous market?  Because they’ve been around forever.  Since 1944 they have been adapting to meet consumers needs.  What does our current market economy have in common with the emerging new market following the Great Depression?  A lot.  Seriously tight fisted shoppers, to begin with.  Consumers mourning the loss of feel good spending from deep pockets, or even shallow pockets thanks to good credit, have needs to be met.  A booming economy (The 1920‘s, the 1990‘s) is a seller’s market.  Consumers were willing to pay extra for the brand name over an off-brand of the same item.  So what did sellers focus on?  Getting their brand name into households through ads.  Direct Marketing via Mass Communications.  Today, mass communications isn’t the most effective model.  One need does not fit all.  You’d be smart to treat users accordingly.  Admit they call the shots.  Then show them how to use that power by opting-in to your product or service… while perusing your proverbial facilities, of course.  Therein lies the value.  For both of you. Because lucky you has a website to build one on one relationships with targets using blogs and interactive components.  Meaningful Marketing via Interpersonal Communications.  The captive audience of Social Media is a Mad Men’s wild west.  Stake your claim to create, not a customer base, but a following.  Sustainable customers are yours for the clicking.  But wait.  There’s more!  The same fabulous content you generate for users just happens to make your business website SEO friendly as well.  Yes, Google likes to stop and eat cheese too.

My precious Sidekick LX 2009 died last month.  It was a brutal death– it fell out of my pocket and onto hard asphalt while I was running in to Panera Bread for a bagel bucket.  I didn’t hear it fall, as I am a late deafened adult, but luckily I noticed it in the parking lot on the way back to my car.  I stood over it before picking up, mentally slapping myself for my carelessness.

I had dreaded this moment.  Not only was the easy breezy to use Sidekick I love discontinued this year, I am a bit of a technophobe, and don’t have the patience to learn a new phone, OS or UI.  I don’t mean to brag  but to give you an idea of how well I resist new technology, I’ve missed work 3 times because I locked myself out with the Smart Key of my Toyota Venza.  The inevitable moment had finally arrived and I had to conjure up what little inner geek I have.  I Googled “What phone are Sidekick users switching to?” in as many variations as my word bank could think of.  But no matter how I phrased the question not one SERP held the answer.  What smartphone is most like the Sidekick?  Nada.  What is the new deaf-friendly smartphone of choice?  Zip, zero, zilch.  SO my blood pressure topping the charts, I faced a hard fact.  I was going to have to do the legwork myself.  I read reports from the Consumer Electronics Show.  I followed Engadget on Twitter.  I interviewed friends (who all hear just fine) about the phones they used.  Nothing pointed me in the right direction.  Fortunately, my research was cut short when my insurance only gave me 2 phones to choose from.  At least I learned a few things about smartphones in the meantime.  I thought I should hurry up and blog about it before what little knowledge I have becomes obsolete.

My choices were the Motorola Defy, which was getting good reviews, and probably an appropriate choice considering it is the “life proof” call phone, or the Motorola Cliq2, then pre-market, and called Begonia.  The Cliq2 was too new to have reviews yet, but it had a hardware keyboard.  I was not then, nor am I now, able to commit to a touchscreen keyboard full time.  Here is how my old phone and new phone compare on the three areas most important to me, Keyboards, Notifications, and Data.

Keyboards --

1. Organization of the slide out KB–A. The Cliq2‘s keys are closer together, more like a SK08 than the SK09, but having that dedicated number row makes SK a winner in this category for sure.  The C2 has 2 alt/shift type keys and it gets confusing when you want to type a numeral, an !, or a capital letter. B.  The C2’s keyboards are not organized well.  For instance there is a permanent search button on the bottom of the phone, a permanent search button on the hardware keypad, and a pre-installed Google search bubble on the touchscreen’s home page (which is removable.) The hard keypad has North-South-East-West direction arrows and an “ok” button for navigation.  In 3 weeks I have not found a use for the “ok” button.  Trackball navigation is much faster than arrows, and doubles as a time saving “enter” button for all applications.
2. Slide/SWYPE VS Swivel?    I do admit liking SWYPE on the touchscreen keyboard.  But after weeks of using it I’m still not sure it will be faster than typing on my SK, even when I get really good.  Speed aside, SWYPE pretty much requires complete eye contact with the screen.  Without my hearing I need to be able to look around as much as I can ..  I could do that with my SK keypad I knew front and back.  You can’t go by feel with SWYPE.  There is good tactillic response from the touchscreen keyboard in both horizontal and portrait modes.
3. Slide vs Twist?  I like twist!  I used to think the twist was too showy, or gimmicky.  Now that I have to take time to grip the C2 just right and gently slide out the screen, I see what a blessing that instant pop-out with a flick of a finger was with the SK swivel screen.  I miss the satisfying “snap” when the screen swung out. I will miss the swivel if SK4G is a slide.  The slide is hard for me to do with one hand, and is too hard to do compared to the SK’s instant snap open with the nudge of one finger.

Notifications- The Trackball is King

1. Fairly strong, albeit short, vibrate alerts.  If my SK went off in my purse while I was grocery shopping, I could feel my whole cart vibrate.  The C2 is barely noticeable in my pocket.  The SK had “strobe” vibrations and it re-vibrated until I had viewed the incoming text.  The C2 does neither.
2. Deaf people have so much they don’t know for sure–  using a phone shouldit add confidence, not make you feel insecure about what you might be missing. Visual notifications like the trackball give us that kind of confidence, where you can set your phone down and relax without having to unlock it and check it every minute.  The only good visual alerts on the C2 is the icons glow red with tactillic response.  I did discover a great app called “pop-up texts” that puts your incoming text messages on top of anything else you are woking on.  I definitely won’t miss an incoming while already on the phone.  New messages are displayed in a notification bar, but, again, I miss the Green no messages/Blue if you have a mesage LED Trackball on the SK.  It was nice to be able to see a new message from across the room rather than have to unlock and manually look for one constantly.

Email/Messaging/Browsing differences

1. What I cherish about the SK’s email was, YOU CAN VIEW AN INBOX.  You see all your folders, and their count and you can navigate like looking at a menu.  I am very fond of Outlook Express type email setups, which the SK had. Every other smartphone I’ve used just shows one message at a time and is navigated using off-screen buttons.  Makes me nervous about what I am not seeing.
2. Both have push email.  Both allow multiple email accounts.
3. The C2 has unlimited texts in the inbox, whereas the SK only held 100.
4. It’s taken me a while to adjust to the bubble style texts format, but I’m getting there.
5. I miss the “mini-laptop” screen style of my SK browser. The pages automatically formatted to fit the screen, and I didn’t have to worry about apps for pages-they just autoloaded the mobile site, if available.  Browsing on the Clic 2 is very stop and go. Tthe SK was fluid like desk top browsing.

Deaf Friendly Potential–  What the SK never had but the Cliq 2 does, but that I have not used personally/not needed

A.  Tty phone with hco and vco.  I don’t think the SK had this option, though it was supposed to have relay capabilities through an IM service, like AIM.  There are lots of free android text to speech synthesis apps you can download.  I can’t verify how well they work.

B.  The Cliq2, if you have a voice plan, has call forwarding.  *If I had a voice plan, I could have calls forwarded to my hearing husband’s phone number (and he could relay mesages to me.)  One thing I hated about the SK was wrong callers leaving me voice messages (before I finally figured out how to disable them.)  The voicemail icon flashing in the meantime drove me bonkers.

C.  The C2 has voice to text capabilites for speech synthesis.  It also has Google Voice for voice commands, or to voice out a text message (that gets sent as Text) while you are driving.  I haven’t gotten any use out of that feature because it does not pick up my voice well at all.  When I speak into the phone, the text makes about as much sense as the “auto captions” of a UTube video (you know what I mean?)  I was hopeful there might be a “captioning app” that would help me turn strangers voices into text for me to read.  No.

D.  Text to voice for speech synthesis

E.  Emergency calling, even without the voice plan.

General

1.  SK is easier to hold b/c the weight is with the keypad, not the screen.  The traction lines on the back of the C2 help somewhat but SK still wins.

2.  SK had 100 messages text limit whereas TC2 has default of 200 and you can adjust it. I set mine to 140 so it didn’t get too big on me. I may increase once I get used to the bubble chat style.  I miss the inbox screen and sent messages screen on my SK.

3.  While the C2 does have a univeral inbox for all twitter, FB, mySpace and SMS msgs.  I miss the inbox screen and sent messages screen on my SK.

*4.  I had to upgrade my data plan. I was quite PO’d about this one.  They should be honoring my contract for the same price as my SK’s data-plan.  They are the ones who discontinued the phone, after all.   I haven’t gotten my first bill yet but it will be about $20 more than usual T-Mobile data bill of $38.01.  The SK had unlimited data and pay-as-you-go voice.  I never used the voice but maybe once or twice in an emergency where I had to loan a hearing person my phone.  The MC2 data only plan bars all voice calls, except for 911. So you do have emergency calling.

5.  I could turn all noises off on my SK so i didn’t have to worry about using it in quiet situations (and call attention to myself- but the C2 seems to have a different sound setting for every app or function…I can’t yet figure out how to turn them all off at once.

About the Author:  I lost my hearing completely by my 25th birthday.  Like many people with hearing problems I was drawn to the Sidekick phone when it came out.  It was really ahead of other phones at the time with the full hardware keyboard, IM’ing (how some deaf people make a relay phone calls) and great browsing options.  Over time, “better” smartphones were developed, ones with MP3 capabilities and better flash players, work applications, etc.  I had a Blackberry for a stint, and an LG EnV Touch for about a month to see what else was out there. No phone satisfied my requirements as well as the SK.  Each deaf/HOH person will have different needs, but visual or tactile message alerts -even when idle, full QWERTY for quick messaging, and multiple email accounts are the most common.   Features like a front facing camera (FFC) are very useful for deaf people who sign with their friends in video chat, but are not a priority of mine- since I’m still not great at sign and my friends don’t know any.   Consider how your SP priorities might difer from those listed in this review.  I hope my comparisons below will help many replace their own SK when the time comes…  Especially if the Android-based Sidekick 4G isn’t the Accessible phone it’s predecessors were.)

I just made this for Christmas festivities with my family of food lovers…It was a hit!  They raved about the flavors.  I originally intended for it to look like a pinecone for the holiday theme, but it makes an “any occasion” cheeseball as a pineapple…or omit the rosemary and you have a football!  Use chopped dried pineapple instead of dried cranberries if you like…it’s a very flexible recipe, the perfect thing to take to Luaus or Tailgates alike.  The recipe halves easy for smaller groups.  As written it serves 15-20.

Two “bricks” neufchatel cheese, softened (cream cheese and fat free cream cheese work fine)

One rounded Tablespoon mayo

Three green onions sliced thinnish up to half the green stalk

One cup shredded farmer’s cheese (monterey jack or sharp white cheddar should work fine)

One bag dried cranberries (such as Craisins,) minced

Half teaspoon garlic powder, or to taste

Salt & Pepper to taste (I use 1 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp pepper)

12-16 ounces smoked almonds

Fresh rosemary sprigs

1.  Mix Everything but the smoked almonds

Combine everything but the almonds and rosemary in a bowl with sealable lid.  Refrigerate 30 minutes, or until firm.** If you are making this ahead of time, put the lid on the bow and leave it up to 3-4 days.  This is encouraged, as the flavors will develop with time.  The sweetness of the cranberries plays well on the mild onion flavor and the smokiness of the almonds.

2.  Shape into a football (or pinecone or pineapple)

When you are ready to assemble, simply scoop out the mix with your hands and mold into a teardrop shape.  Put the cheese ball on that great serving platter you’ve been dying to use…

3. Garnish, then present!

…then you or your ‘sous helper’ stud the cheese ball with rows of the smoked almonds on the top and the sides.  If you are more patient than I am -wouldn’t be hard- I bet your almond design turns out a lot better!  When you are finished, insert the rosemary garnish into the large end.  For a “football” theme, omit the rosemary and mold it into an oval shape instead of a tear drop.  Before your party, set it out at room temperature for 30 minutes for easy dipping, or serve it with a spreader.

Serve with your favorite crackers (I used the large Wheat Thins. I tried one with a Ritz and it was good too!)

**if you are in a hurry, and don’t have time to “refrigerate until firm” you can add extra shredded cheese to give it the right consistency for molding.  Keep in mind the other flavors will be diluted.

1.  Pasta suits any occasion.  Even the most basic recipes.

2.  Never trust a recipe that doesn’t call for salt.  Never try to enhance a dessert by omitting the salt.  In fact, you’re usually better off doubling the salt that is called for.  Unsalted butter is only good for one purpose, but I haven’t discovered it yet.

3.  There is no substitute for bacon!

4.  Sometimes the only thing better than (insert elaborate recipe here) is frozen pizza from a box and your feet up on the coffee table.

5.  ”Peeled and seeded” is almost always a tomato step you can skip.  (Quarter the tomatoes, gently squeeze them like a lemon to remove the excess juice, and save your sanity!)

6.  Never pass up a chance to experiment if you have all the ingredients for a recipe but one.

7.  Most every dish needs acid of some kind. Vinegar, citrus, tomato; use them to brighten flavors and to balance heat and salt.

8.  If your dinner guests have to ask if you made it from scratch, congratulations.  You don’t have to tell.  Just smile and say, “Old Family Recipe.”

9.  The best savory sauces, soups, or stews are the result of a long simmered, reduction process.  Cook it down–– down to Flavor Town.

10.  Cook with wine.  From time to time, even add some to your food. (Stolen from a refrigerator magnet at my friend Amy’s house, but it’s good advice!)

We walked in. Ambiance… C

Big Whiskey’s is clean and comfortably furnished and appears a well organized operation.  Seemingly every wall is covered with flat screen televisions and every football game being bounced around the atmosphere this day has found its way through to one of them. We were greeted right when we walked in the door and hustled off to a smaller room on one end of the restaurant which seemed to be filled with rowdy fans there for the big game. We were looking something slightly less locker-roomish and the hostess was happy to move us to a booth at the edge of the bar next to a large clean window.  In the same area were several tables of families with young children. Nothing too unusual about that on a Sunday afternoon, other than the irony of seeing it in a place named Big Whiskey’s.

We were expecting down home bar fare, and that’s what the menu promised.  There weren’t many surprises – A couple of pricey steaks, a pork dish, some grilled and fried seafood offerings, a few standard pasta dishes and several wraps and burgers. We ended up ordering Hot Buffalo Wings, Red Pepper Gouda Soup, and Glazed Pork Chops.

Wings… C+

I’ve never been to Buffalo, NY, so I’m not familiar with the gold standard of Buffalo wings.  I only know that I love them  I have ordered them 100 times in as many restaurants.  Here’s how Big Whiskey’s Hot (unbreaded) Buffalo Wings stacked up against my own personal criteria.

Sauce: The menu offered two versions of “Buffalo” wings; Hot and Mild.  Buffalo sauce is traditionally a combination of hot sauce and margarine or butter. This sauce had the undeniable zing of vinegary hot sauce, but could not be considered hot, even in the most relative sense of the word. It’s overall effect was, well, not effective.

Crispness: Now I’m willing to put up with generic sauce for wings with a “great bite,” meaning crispy skin that makes me want to chomp away, but this skin was limp and chewy – the result of either not getting the oil in the fryer up to temperature, or allowing the product to sit under the lamps for too long. I’ve had great unbreaded wings in a few Springfield restaurants, so I know it’s not impossible to achieve.  And speaking of messes, I had to request extra napkins for my wings. I believe there should be a law requiring the provision of either one roll of paper towels or a large, slightly damp Snuggie to anyone who orders chicken wings – anyplace, anywhere and at anytime.

Meaty-ness: OK, so wings aren’t supposed to be “meaty” – I get it.  But must they be so small at some joints that you question whether you are eating chicken or if the bird guy had delivered pigeon today by mistake? The heft to these wings was average, or adequate compared to most, but what turned me off right away was that, out of 6 wings, only one was a first joint section, or “drummy”.  The other 5 were the much skinner and harder-to-eat second joint section of the wing which might be attributed to either lack of attention or just plain indifference in the kitchen to what they are turning out to their customers.

Red Pepper Gouda Soup… A-

This soup was a pretty fancy option compared to the rest of the standard bar food choices on the menu.  It had a smooth velvety texture and wasn’t served so hot I had to wait 10 minutes to eat it.  It very much resembled homemade tomato soup so I’m not sure I’d guess it had red pepper in it if I hadn’t seen the menu. Likewise, the gouda was hardly noticeable…maybe because it only had 3-4 shreds of gouda floating on top when it arrived, but overall it was still tasty and the least disappointing dish of this visit.  I do disagree with their choice of Keebler Club crackers to compliment otherwise upscale soup.  A nice warm crouton or crusty sourdough would have carried it much further.

Glazed Pork Chops… B-

The plate looked good. Good grill marks on the chops.  Colorful veggies.  I do prefer that lean loin chops be thicker than other cuts, otherwise they are too easy to overcook and dry out. These were on the thin side and as I suspected, a little dry for my taste. The barbecue sauce glaze had good flavor and did not overpower the meat.

The loaded mashed potatoes were tasty and covered with melted cheddar and bacon bits and sprinkled with chives.  I wished for more.  The steamed veggies, to me, were a throw away.  They appeared colorful enough and were well seasoned but their watery pool and mushy texture inspired the thought “steam bag in the microwave.”

Prices/Value… C

The prices weren’t really out of line, but the overall mediocrity of the food left a bad taste in the mouth.  Based on the items we were served that day, a better meal can be had at the same price in just about any Chili’s, Applebee’s or Friday’s.

Service:… A

Young hip friendly hostess, and a server who was helpful and not overly attentive (read interruptive,) or rushing us.

Conclusion

Its not hard to tell what the identity of Big Whiskey’s is meant to be – Its a sports bar.  If all you want is a place to watch the game, grab a beer and maybe a burger, then its as good a place as any – probably a better place than most for the game watching portion of the equation.  There are HD TVs everywhere.  There is an attempt to present itself as something more with a nice story on the menu and an appearance of a slightly elevated food selection, but the execution fails on that end.  If a memorable food experience is what you’re after, look elsewhere.

Q&A

Doing a lil research to satisfy my own sociological curiosity.  I know I’m not the only one who is willing to spend money eating out for benefits other than just food.  I’d love some feedback from other women.

Please write in and explain what, exactly, you love about the “restaurant experience” on those nights you feel the NEED to eat away from home-and it’s not just about eating dinner, if you know what I mean?  What are the factors for you?

Which of the following factors apply to you?

*seeing others/being seen (big one for me to go out among my contemporaries,)

*undivided attention of your dinner companion,

*getting to exhibit recently purchased clothing,

*having someone else wait on you,

*cooking ideas/inspiration,

*need a break from distractions at home (what distractions, if so?)

*Others?

Thank you for your time!

Some foods are seasonal, if only in our minds.  For me, oatmeal is definitely a cooler weather food.  In warmer months, I’d rather do granola/yogurt/fresh fruit for breakfast.  My cool weather workday breakfast of choice, steel cut, or “Irish” oats, however, is a royal pain in the rear to make. Well, it’s a lengthy process anyway.  It’s nearly impossible to make myself find time to babysit it for 25 minutes on mornings when I have a very small window to shower, feed the dog, and other household “stuff” I have to do before leaving the house for the day.  I know many of you have the same conflict with these wonderful chewy oats.  Wouldn’t it be great if the healthiest oatmeal option was also a convenience food?  It can be!  2 tips guaranteed to cut the traditional cooking/serving time in half.

1.  Quick Soak Method:  Measure out the oats and water and assemble in pan the night before.  Place the lid on the pan and leave it on the stove.  When you wake up, turn on the heat while you’re making your coffee.  It’s similar to pre-soaking beans and will definitely speed up cooking time.  OR try tip #2…

2.  Par Boiled Oats: Cook them in large quantities.  “Lefties” make the easiest breakfasts.  After serving, simply replace the lid and put unused portion of oats-still in pan- into fridge until the next morning.  When tomorrow comes, you won’t have to start from scratch.  Just put the oats pan back on the burner, on medium-high heat.  Add a healthy splash of water for rehydration.  Stir regularly until bubbly and hot, about 3 mins.  I done this successfully for up to 3 days running.  I’m guessing you could go even longer if you made enough oats in the first batch.

Major search engines are to websites as Oprah’s Book Club is to novelists:  Once you’ve made the short list (ie: Rank on the first Search Engine Return Page, or SERP,) the odds for success tilt greatly in your favor.  Adwords, or keywords, will boost your Website’s visibility when used correctly, and scare off all your business when they aren’t.

Business Websites have to focus on customer service, but the big caveat for online marketing is, who exactly is the customer?  Your website is brokered by search engines.  Websites have to work almost as hard to please, or optimize, search engines as they do the end consumer using their product or service.  Treat those search engines like you would a good customer who you want to leave happy, come back often, and bring their friends.  Users are impatient.   Yahoo is competing with Google, who is competing with Bing, who is…  They naturally favor (rank) websites that are easy to reach, and fast to load. But they must also be interesting in order for engines to showcase them to their searchers.  Their SERP is their portfolio. “Look at all the lovely websites WE carry!”

This is where keywords and phrases work as your public relations team.  Keywords are maps for search engines.  Use them strategically; In the URL, meta-description, bold headings, and as needed when they contribute to the natural flow of your copy.   Think of a meta-description (title tagline) as an employee in a chicken suit distributing flyers to passersby.  They must be unique if you want users to remember you.  Don’t describe yourself using the same keywords everyone else is using.  Accurately portray the page the tag links to.  Misled patrons rarely convert to satisfied customers.

You control the accessibility of your website through copy (content.)

Keyword Spam Is Bad Customer Service

Text and images on your pages should be designed to build relationships with customers virtually entering your store.  Users enter a search for a reason; they might need a product, service, they are bored, or simply curious.  If your website meets their needs, you have gained their trust.  Don’t ruin that trust by using gimmicks.  Searchers are already wary of anything resembling spam because it offers no benefit to them, and wastes their time.  Satisfy your customers with the content on your pages.  Help them problem solve.  Make them laugh.  Teach them something new.  Copywriting is your tool for building these sustainable business practices.  A concise yet compelling page screams professionalism, just as a comfortable, well designed waiting room gains the trust of real-world clients.  C’mon in.  Relax with your feet up and admire the ambiance of our efficiently run business.  Make them feel good about their decision to do business with you.

There’s a lot of hooey on the Internet.  Use every opportunity to show users you are the real deal.

It’s Unethical.

Keyword Stuffing is the modern version of subliminal advertising.  Users are quick to catch on.  Even if you are in the market for a certain service, are you likely to buy it from the telemarketer who tricked you into answering your phone with a blocked number?

Keyword density costs your website consumer’s trust.

It’s Illegal.

It adds no value to your rankings.  Keyword spam is the blatant attempt to dupe search engines into listing a webpage.  They know this.  Do it, and SERP’s will ban your website from their pages.

Text space is high rent. Don’t waste resources diluting your content with keywords.

Keep Your Website Competitive.

SEO = Xtreme competition.  The shorter (or more common) the keyphrase, the higher the competition.  Don’t unwittingly add more competition.  First, narrow the field to your specific target market with long-tailed keywords.  It’s nearly impossible to rank well for the same one word used by millions of websites.  If you sell leather convertible sofas in Lawrence, Kansas, don’t use the broad-match single word “couch” or “sofa.”  Your market isn’t everyone who Googles the word “couch.”  Your market is people looking to buy leather convertible sofas in Lawrence, KS.  You need to be relevant to the people exposed to your ad.   A website overloaded with accidental tourists slows down functionality for other users who really do want to buy your sofa.   The influx of traffic may also increase your bandwidth or your Cost Per Click budget.  Don’t use a shotgun. Well-aimed keywords (followed up with good copy) are what keep your company on top of all the flotsam and jetsam being caught in this World Wide Net.  Quality returns.  Yes, I’m repeating myself.  Now your keywords don’t have to.

You know who your market is, but do your keywords?